‘Bullying sucks’

The subject of bullying is a complex issue that has been gaining exposure in the public eye.

Bullying includes harassment, physical harm, demeaning speech and repeated efforts to ostracize another person. According to bullyingstatistics.org, bullying is active and is done with the intention of bringing another person down. The main umbrellas of bullying include physical, verbal, emotional and cyberbullying. According to a 2004 study in the Journal of Pediatrics, one in seven Canadian children between the ages of 11 and 16 have been bullied.

Elisa, a Grade 8 student, who didn’t want to give her last name, said she is bullied physically, verbally and via cyberspace. The 13-year-old said she has always been teased in school but she doesn’t know why.

“There’s a group of girls that bully me. They would point at me then run away, spread rumors, physically hurt me and push me, follow me around the school yard, give me dirty looks and call me names,” she said. “They make me feel worthless, unloved and as if I have no friends. Sometimes I feel like I would just rather die than put up with the bullying. Bullying sucks.”

Elisa said the group of girls has threatened and humiliated her at school and on Facebook. They have also influenced others to view her as an outcast.  On the other hand, she said talking about these situations with loved ones and teachers helps her cope and stay positive.

The type of bullying Elisa is experiencing makes up 46.5 per cent of bullying incidents in school, according to Time for Tolerance, a journal published in 2008. She had a message to all bullies.

“Dear bullies, your actions make me sick. It sometimes scares me to go to school. I shouldn’t be putting up with it but I don’t know what else to do. Many teens like Amanda Todd deal with suicidal thoughts and it isn’t right. Bullying can make someone want to die. It is sad that you do this just to make yourself feel better about yourself. It isn’t right, so stop.”

Amanda Todd, 15, of Port Coquitlam, B.C. died last Wednesday, one month after posting a video on YouTube which cited the sexualized attack that led her to commit suicide. In Canada suicide attributed to bullying is the second leading cause of death among young people after motor vehicle accidents, according to the Canadian Children’s Rights Council.

Elisa’s parents said they hope their daughter’s situation corrects itself.

“We’re sickened by this situation. It makes us feel helpless, frustrated and mad,” her father said. “But the thing is she’s not alone … These bullies are jealous and can’t compete with her so they feel putting her down will do them justice.”

They said they believe technology plays a large role in the situation because her peers feel protected behind their computer screens while they continue to assault her.

“They’re cowards,” her mother said. “Parents aren’t monitoring their children’s actions. No one wins when it comes to bullying but unfortunately everyone will be affected by it in one way or another.”

Bullying has numerous negative effects on everyone involved. According to BullyingCanada, bullying can make children feel lonely, isolated, unsafe and can cause long-term psychological effects. BullyingCanada is a national charity that handles 10,000 calls and deals with 5,000 young people online each month. The organization said short-term effects range from constant headaches and nightmares to social awkwardness or shyness to sleeping too much. In addition, stress and anxiety caused by bullying or harassment can affect children’s ability to learn.

Public information officer for Windsor Police Service Sgt. Matthew D’Asti said he has encountered many forms of bullying and said all forms of bullying are negative.

“Bullying is a learned behavior and often times can be considered a criminal act. If the bully is 12 years of age or older, then criminal charges can be considered regarding assault, harassment or even mischief,” D’Asti said. “The Windsor Police Service has school liaison officers active in our school systems. We also have several officers that teach V.I.P. — values, influences and peers — to Grade 6 students in our city. We believe education is essential when dealing with this subject matter.”

Bullying occurs once every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the classroom. In the majority of cases bullying stops within 10 seconds when peers intervene or do not support the bully’s behavior, according to BullyingCanada.

D’Asti also said bullying is damaging and degrading, making victims feel depressed and suffer from anxiety. He said teenagers are especially sensitive to this type of behaviour.

“If you or someone you know is a victim of a bully we encourage dialogue. Victims need to know that the bullying behavior is not their fault.   We do not suggest fighting back or trying to exact revenge.  The primary objective is to get the bullying behaviour to stop,” D’Asti said.  “There are several resources for students, parents and teachers available including kidshelpphone.ca, canadiansafeschools.com or calling Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868.”