Caregivers need help too

By Naureen Ahmed

Caregivers for people with Alzheimer’s disease are twice as likely to suffer from depression as those providing care for someone without it, experts say.

Shohba Desai works as a psychologist in a local hospital and said caregivers often are so busy caring for others they neglect themselves physically and emotionally.

“We read a lot about Alzheimer’s disease, its symptoms, causes, risk factors and complications, but we have never thought about their loved ones, what they feel being a caregiver of someone who is no more the same person,” said Desai.

Julius Martin, who works as a cashier in a local grocery store, looked after his 88-year-old mother diagnosed with Alzheimer’s two years ago.

“It is heartbreaking and painful to see someone who has taken care of you, loves you, nurtured you, reach a point when they can’t even recognize you,” he said.

Caregivers may experience feelings of happiness, accomplishment and a strong sense of responsibility but, at the same, it is stressful and overwhelming. At times, they may feel hopeless, sad and experience an inability to control the situation.

“If it persists, it can affect the body’s immune system, leading to illness,” said Desai. “The key to cope with stress is to identify the cause of it in your life and learn healthy ways to deal with it.”

According to Desai, there is a difference between being busy and being productive. She said to try to be productive for your loved ones and avoid the emotional trap of feeling sorry for yourself or searching for someone to blame.

“Set 30 minutes every day for yourself. Find different ways to pamper yourself,” said Desai. “Read a funny book, watch a comedy or call a friend who makes you laugh. You will feel more energetic and more focused thus resulting in a better caregiver.”

Maria Hussain, a mother and a grandmother of four, takes care of her husband who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease three years ago.

“I feel very frustrated and angry sometimes,” said Hussain. “We had made all kinds of plans for our retirement. It will not happen anymore, I miss my husband and the man he used to be. I love him so much and I am so sad watching this horrible disease taking him away from me everyday. I still want to look after him myself inspite of my own health issues.”

Ayesha Haroon, 53 works part-time as a medical assistant at a doctor’s office in Windsor. She been looking after her 85-year-old mother-in-law for more than four years.

“It is very difficult to manage between work and responsibilities towards my family but it is not impossible,” she said. “I have been diagnosed with depression too. I feel exhausted and irritable but still we are not ready to send her to a nursing home. I get this strength from my religion and Holy Quran.”

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease can be challenging said Dian Norman, who was a volunteer at “Walk for Memories” in Devonshire Mall.

“When my mother Terrynado was diagnosed with Alzheimer disease three years back we went through a lot,” she said. Dementia does not only affect one person but it affects the whole family. Everyone feels shattered when you see your loved ones are moving away from you.

Caring for a loved one can be very rewarding, but at the same time it comes with stresses ranging from physical to emotional, especially if caregiver feel they have little control over the situation. The key point is that caregivers need care too. Managing the stress levels in your life is just as important as taking medication on time, said Norman. “Caregiving allows you to give something back and make a difference in your loved one’s life,” said Desai. If you think you’re depressed, seek help. Proper treatment can help you feel your best, he said.

Side Bar: According to HelpGuide, a non-profit resource don’t wait until you feel too overwhelmed to ask for help caring for a loved one. Involve the whole family in planning and providing care. Seek a caregiver support group. A support network can keep you from feeling isolated, depleted and depressed. They also suggest taking time for yourself and participating in healthy activities that allow you to relax and have fun. Physical activity and meditation also can help reduce stress.