Welcome to Hell

By David Lafreniere

Hell has already frozen over several times this winter and it’s businesses have had guests from all over the country come to see what chance a snowball has there.

Windsor-Essex travelers looking for a day trip can go to Hell, Mich., which is about 30 minutes northwest of Ann Arbor and an hour from downtown Windsor.

People can stop in at Screams from Hell and enjoy rocky road at the ice creamatory and souvenir shop, enjoy a meal at the local Hell Hole restaurant or grab a drink at Hell’s Saloon.

“A lot of people come in over the holidays or when school is on break,” said Kim Jahn, the manager of Screams from Hell. “People come here all the time for lots of different reasons.”

Once past the gates of Hell there is a small wedding chapel operated by Screams from Hell.

“We do about 70-90 weddings a year,” said Jahn. “We always give them the second one for free. They always say when you get married in Hell there is no place to go but up.”

About 14 weddings were performed on Valentine’s Day and there are six or eight couples already slated for Halloween weddings, according to Jahn.

If guests in Hell are not ready for marriage they can become the mayor, but the job is hell and impeachment is guaranteed.

Bradley Wester has heard all the clichés about Hell. He has been in and out of Hell most of his life and his aunt used to own Hell’s party store.

“It’s kind of interesting coming out here,” said Wester. “There is really not a whole lot in Hell, but it’s a really cool place. They do the Hearst Fest once a year, where they come out and have hearses from all around the world.”

Open to all makes and models of hearses as long as they were once in service or are currently used as a hearse, Hearse Fest takes place every September.

Despite its light-hearted, dark theme, Hell is a nature-lover’s paradise. You can kayak through the Huron River Chain of Lakes or enjoy time hiking, skiing or doing countless other outdoor activities in the nearby Pinckney State Recreation Area.